Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Road Life Chooses

Sometimes it's nice to sit back and reflect on the road that life chooses to lead you on. I was once very naive to think that I actually had a choice ;) Having a friend have another baby has made me reflect on the life altering experience that was having Alex and the completely different road it led me on. Before him I was a happy go lucky academic force to be reckonned with, I rarely had a complaint as I'd solely focussed on getting the answers right and not wrong. I had a list a mile long on what I would and wouldn't do when I did have children and assumed that everything I'd conquer everything as I'd always done before. HAH!!!!! I woke up to the real world the day Alex was born and I experienced one nurse who regarded marital status higher than intellectual. Little did I know what path she was leading me on. After 24 hours of being a human soother for Alex either by pinkie or breast my utmost objections to a soother were broken down. At 4 weeks discovering that there are people that can be so linguistically discriminatory that they can justify neglecting an infact in dire need of medical attention who hasn't even learned to speak the english his mother had yet, molded a mother with no voice into one who wasn't afraid to be heard (but still has a hard time calling the doctor for an appointment ;)) And it's still changing, preparing Alex to be a participant in the anti bullying movement and wanting him to speak up if he sees something wrong has led me to seriously consider the role model that I set for him and again speak up when I see things that are wrong. How can I expect him to do something that I in turn won't? As I look back I still wonder who on earth was that girl holed up in the engineering library by day and living a healthy active social life at night five years ago. Mind you I'd be very happy if life just provided me with a survey but seeing as I've surrendered and acknowledged it's control I'm slowly accepting the role it's dealt.

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